Being there for your young friend with cancer
4-minute read
When you’re young, getting cancer is the furthest thing from your mind. Many see youth as a barrier to contracting this critical illness, especially those with a clean family history.
But the fact is that cancer can result from a multitude of different factors: lifestyle, diet, environment, the list goes on. Globally, the number of cases among 14 to 49-year-olds has surged by nearly 80% over the last 30 years. Yet in Singapore, individuals aged 29 and under only make up 2.1% of all cancer patients. That said, their journey can be a very lonely one, with very few here at home who truly understand what they’re going through.
Receiving a cancer diagnosis at a young age brings much financial, physical and emotional stress. Young patients have less savings than their older counterparts to bear the high medical costs. The regular, intense treatments take a toll on their bodies and disrupt their ways of living. Critical life opportunities such as education, socials and starting a family start slipping through their fingers.
You might desperately want to support your young friend with cancer but just don’t know how. Don’t despair! Even if you don’t share their experience, you can still play an active part in their walk with cancer. Here are some tips on how:
1. Research the subject
Relating to your friend’s plights can be challenging when you know little about the situation.
Show that you care by researching the matter from the many online news and health resources available. If you know anyone who has had cancer or has journeyed with a cancer patient, ask about their experiences and seek advice.
You might learn something helpful worth sharing with your friend with cancer. Just do it tactfully and convey that you’re doing it out of love and concern, lest your charitable act might be misunderstood as pity and cause a rift.
2. Talk about it and listen well
Given its serious nature, cancer is undeniably tricky to bring up in conversation. But just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean you should avoid the subject!
Show that you’ve been thinking about your friend by initiating the question, “How have you been?” Be patient and give them time to unpack their thoughts. Listen intently and let them finish speaking before adding on.
Avoid overly optimistic clichés like “You will be fine!” that could pressure your friend with cancer to suppress negative feelings. Withhold the urge to offer solutions or advice unless they have asked for it.
And not all silences need to be filled! Sometimes, silence is necessary to let what has been said sink in. Simply being present with your friend already speaks volumes. Awkward or not, you want to be there for them.
3. Don’t stray from normal
Cancer sends you into a whirlwind by completely turning life on its head, and you feel like you’ve been robbed of your once “normal” life. The last thing your cancer-stricken friend would want is for their relationships, the pillars of support and strength, to change dramatically.
Try to keep your friendship as regular as possible. Balance being more sensitive to your friend’s situation when planning activities without mollycoddling. No one wants to be reminded over and over again that they’re ill.
4. Touch base regularly
Cancer is a long, arduous journey of physical challenges and emotional turmoil lasting several months, even years.
Remind your friend with cancer that they’re not forgotten and that you’re invested by checking in regularly. Shooting them a text from time to time saying, “Been thinking about you. How have you been?” can mean so much to someone battling cancer.
If you can, offer assistance by asking, “What can I help with?” Even if they’re struggling, your friend may not express it for fear of troubling others. Assure them that this friendship is a safe space for them to open up and be vulnerable.
Protect your future with MSIG CancerCare Plus
Age is just a number, not an escape card for cancer. Don’t leave it up to chance until it’s too late. Even if cancer strikes, be more at ease knowing you’re covered by MSIG CancerCare Plus. Whether you’re diagnosed early or late, receive a payout of at least $50,000 to alleviate the burden of costs. Premiums start from less than 15 cents a day.
We have regular exclusive promotions on our insurance plans. Click here to view the latest deals. Policy terms and conditions apply.
We Do More for Cancer Patients
For every new CancerCare Plus policy purchased, MSIG will donate $10 to support Singapore Cancer Society’s outreach programmes, including cancer screening, cancer treatment subsidy, rehabilitation programmes, and hospice home care for those who need financial aid.
